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Dear (Crazy) James,

My heart is slowly dying because you will probably be evicted from the Big Brother house tonight. Barring some intervention from producers, it’s pretty much a sure thing. But listen baby, everything is going to be okay. Here. Have a sip of this champagne. Don’t mind me; I’m just turning down the lights… it’s so bright in here. Anyway, does it scare you when I say I love you? What does that mean…”Don’t touch me there…?”

Just relax, babies. Oh whoops! My top came off!

James, honey, darling, baby, I’m sorry about the hypocritical, lactating, delusional and truly unchristian abomination that is Natalie (and all of “Team Christ” for that matter). Come here. Put your head on my shoulder. See? That’s nice. We’re just having a platonic and sexy conversation.

Lovemuffin, at least you can sleep at night knowing that you we’re ganged up on by the weakest in the house. America would have NEVER voted you out. But that’s a right that the producers at CBS don’t want to give us. I will never let those “evil-doers” hurt you again, baby.

Well James, it appears our time is through. We all loved you (me the most). Don’t mind as I spread myself over this bearskin rug. Oh wait, that’s just Natalie’s pubes. Gross!

We love you James,

Buzzkilled.com

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Our favorite Big Brother contestant Natalie Cunial (or should I call her Nastalie Cunnaglingus) is no stranger to television. She has previously appeared on MTV’s documentary series True Life. Natalie appeared in one of the segments (not the featured person) about beauty pageants. I’m not quite sure how a wet dog meandered into a beauty pageant, but she did none the less. I have a feel that no matter what Natalie participates in she’ll make a mockery of it.

You know you’re a skanky whore when even Las Vegas doesn’t want to have anything to do with you! Go back to the beaver state!

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Dear Natalie,

God does not care about your personal dealings in the Big Brother house. While I am assured that you aren’t as bad as last season’s blasphemer Amber, God is not guiding the direction of how things go for you inside the house. God does not have personal stakes invested in you winning Big Brother 9. You are a moron who is constantly out of touch with reality. Matt is not your soul mate. He thinks you are annoying and stupid, which you are. Tonight, you said something to the effect of:

“She [Nat] said Chelsia told her Matt hates her, but she knows Matt loves her. She said she even has confirmation from his best friends in the house that was going to be the hardest part of him getting evicted, leaving her.”

Matt didn’t even want to hug you goodbye when he was evicted. He didn’t even want to stand near you!

Anyhoo, you are an idiot and I don’t want to hear God’s name smeared anymore by coming out of your lactating, two-abortion having, ignorant and slutty frame.

Your paintings suck, too.

Love you,

Buzzkilled.com

P.S. Though, I do like those sparkly pink heart earrings you wear sometimes.

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What’s worse than one Rock of Love, Aubry?

Try two Rock of Love, Aubry’s!

Aubry posted a MySpace blog saying:

“I AM GOING TO CONDUCT A CONTEST FOR MY FRIENDS AND FANS. THIS IS A LOOK ALIKE CONTEST. IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO LOOK LIKE ME. SEND ME A PIC OF YOURSELF TRYING TO LOOK LIKE ME AND I WILL PUT IT UP FOR PUBLIC VOTING. I WILL SEND THE WINNER AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE DIRECTLY FROM ME SIGNED TO YOU. PLEASE SEND YOUR PHOTO AND INFO TO WWW.ROL2AUBRY@YAHOO.COM”

Feel free to send in your photo’s but I think I’ve already found the winner…

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Initially we confused the lesbian couple on last season’s The Amazing Race with Kynt and Vyxsin, who we later realized were actually a straight couple.
Could have fooled me! I’ve seen tranny’s that wish they could look that good Kynt!

Since The Amazing Race it appears that “the freaks”, as the other contestants referred to them as, are now separated and lurking in the netherworlds for their next venomous mate. It’s unfortunate that their relationship didn’t work out, after all will we ever forget Kynt threatening to jump out of the moving vehicle Vyxsin was driving after the two got into a heated argument?

In case you’re wondering what the above picture looks like in reverse… (NSFW!)

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Put it back! Put it back!

Just when you think things can’t go from gross to grosser… they do.

Becky “Buckwild” from Flavor of Love and Charm School got lost in her mother’s closet again and put her make-up on in the dark, all while thinking she’s “fierce”. Psch.
I’m sorry but you can’t put lipstick on a moose and call it a model. Well, unless you’re Tyra.

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Various blogs have published these photos of Danny Noriega’s mother from her MySpace. I really don’t think anyone over 40 should have a MySpace… unless they’re suffering from a mid-life crisis. Which after viewing these pictures may be exactly what her problem is!

She’s one sexy bio-tch. She’s got the whole chola act down to a T. The penciled brows, Aqua-Netted hair, 9-inch long finger nails, gold chain, horrible dye job, etc. etc.

I bet she can beat some Norteno ass!

There’s no real reason for this post other than for the good laugh it gives us all.

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We’ll never forget the train-wreck of a person Amber Siyavus-Tomcavage was on last season’s Big Brother, and now we’re taking a moment to relive the mess she brought into our lives.

During this candid conversation with Danielle (whose mid-story sneeze is a true reflection of the soul that lies within her body) Amber confesses about the time her boyfriend had sex with her when she was on her period and got his “dick covered in blood” and since she was “playing with his balls” gave him “bloody balls”.

Don’t worry it doesn’t end there. According the Amber, whenever her boyfriend calls her “babe” from across their house it means that it’s time for her to run and hold his penis while he pees. According to Amber it’s both “cute” and fun.

Jesus would be proud Amber. Let’s just hope he doesn’t call you babe.

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