Initially we confused the lesbian couple on last season’s The Amazing Race with Kynt and Vyxsin, who we later realized were actually a straight couple.
Could have fooled me! I’ve seen tranny’s that wish they could look that good Kynt!

Since The Amazing Race it appears that “the freaks”, as the other contestants referred to them as, are now separated and lurking in the netherworlds for their next venomous mate. It’s unfortunate that their relationship didn’t work out, after all will we ever forget Kynt threatening to jump out of the moving vehicle Vyxsin was driving after the two got into a heated argument?

In case you’re wondering what the above picture looks like in reverse… (NSFW!)

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It was down to the final three teams after Jen and Nate were eliminiated last week for her birthday.

Ron and Christina, who were in the lead for most of the last leg, fell behind on the final task which was an intricate puzzle that tested their memories. Nick and Don were behind during most of the race, understandably so, considering Nick was racing with his 69 year old grand father. Nick and Don came in third, making Don the oldest person to ever finish the race. Ron and Christina were second and TK and Rachel, deservedly so, won the entire race and took home the $1 million cash prize.

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The race is on for past reality show contestants to appear on the next installment of CBS’s hit reality show The Amazing Race, which has just been picked up its 13th season.

First there is Jessica Hughbanks and Eric Stein from Big Brother 8, more appropriately known as Jeric. Their campagin was started and is continued to be run by fans of theirs and not them, themselves.*

You can sign said petition by clicking the following link, their petition boasts slightly over 11,000 signatures.

[Team Jeric’s Petition]

Then, while investigating rumors that Jen Johnson and Nick Starcevic are romantically involved, I came across a petition for Johnson to appear on The Amazing Race. I don’t know if she’s seen the show and is familiar with the format, but The Amazing Race is done in teams of two, although I’m sure her ego could fill the other slot.

You can sign Jen’s petition by clicking the following link, at last check her petition bragged a whole 92 signature.

[Jen Johnson’s Petition]

This wouldn’t be the first time past CBS reality-show contestants have appeared on The Amazing Race. Most notably newlyweds Rob and Amber from Survivor: All-Stars, but perhaps more relatable Alison Irwin from Big Brother: X-Factor and her then boyfriend Donny Patrick (who she cheated on while in the Big Brother house) who appeared on the 5th installment of The Amazing Race, they were second to be eliminated.

*Thanks Donna for pointing that out!

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Last night on The Amazing Race teams departed Amsterdam, despite the fact that the father/daughter team of Ronald & Christina were set back due to Ronald’s hernia from the last leg.

Holy hernia!

The teams departed from Amsterdam to make their way to Burkina Faso. The Ethiopian brother/sister team, which I’ve mistaken for the past four weeks to be dating, jumped all over the chance to visit their ‘homeland’ despite the fact that the brother Azaria said when recieving their clue to go to Burkina Faso, located in West Africa, “I think it’s in Africa!” Then once there said, “Africa feels like home.”

While at the airport scrounging for flights we were, once again, belittled by editors with horrible voice-overs and spliced stock footage. At least they attempted to match the accents of the voice overs with the location the cast members were at. At one point they used stock footage of an airline ticket agent who was wearing a green jacket despite the fact the ticket agent they were ACTUALLY talking to was wearing a white jacket.

What do they take us for, fools!?

Perhaps the greatest moment of the night came from a nation wide commercial that aired during the broadcast, it was one of those CBS cares commercials featuring Katie Couric who said, and I quote EXACTLY:

“March is national colorectal cancer awareness month…”

March? Aren’t we in November? Or are you just prepping me to be more aware of my butthole in March but no other month? I was quite confused as to how something like that could leak onto the air.

Once the teams arrived in Burkina Faso The Bimbo Team instantly went into freak out mode. I don’t think they’ve ever been around African’s before. On the way to the Road Block, they started freaking out as their taxi driver drove away, one of them saying:

“Where are we going?”

And glancing around as if she was going to find a familiar site or worldwide landmark that would tell her exactly where she was. Her fellow bimbo responded:

“To be sold to people…”

Then once they completed their task and had to depart to Bingo, located in the middle of nowhere, the train station was closed until early morning. When The Bimbo Team arrived, Ronald said:

“The ticket office is closed till it opens tomorrow at 6 am.”

The Bimbo Team looked at Ronald confused and said:

“What does that mean?”

What do you mean what does that mean? How else do you want him to explain to you that the ticket office doesn’t open until 6 am? Do you need visuals, perhaps a PowerPoint presentation?

After the Road Block, where teams had to milk a camel and then drink the milk, teams had to lead four camels to their next location where they’d either have to teach an Africa child 10 English words or themselves learn 10 African words. It was the sister team Marianna & Julia, who while running to the Road Block after finding out that camels were involved said:

“Be mindful that camels are sensitive to fast movements and loud noises.”

I wasn’t aware we had a camel expert team on our hands. However; it was their hesitation that led to their eventual elimination. While insisting to have no “fast movements” it was the other team Lorena & Jason who ran past them with their camels and took the lead.

Marianna and Julia were eliminated at the end of the episode.

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So it’s officially “I’m-going-to-sue” week.

First there was Daniele Lloyd winning her defamation lawsuit after a newspaper insinuated she had sex with 50 Cent, then there was Lisa Jeynes who won an appeal (four years later) after a newspaper alluded to the fact she was a tranny.

Then earlier this week there was the whole Riechen Lehmkuhl and Lance Bass drama after the comments Bass made in Novembers issues of GQ were considered by Lehmkuhl to be “defamatory”. First Lehmkuhl’s MySpace blog read:

“It is my wish that my ex-relationship discontinue referring to me in the media in association with expressing his personal feelings about me, that he discontinue attacking my current relationship(s) in the print-media and, more than anything, that all events, including the drama surrounding them, from that year of my life, simply go away. I choose to no longer pay attention to it.”

Now it’s been edited to read:

“In response to all of the MySpace email I am receiving surrounding my past relationship… I’ve moved on and would no longer like to discuss the subject with anyone. No one is suing. I wish everyone the best.”

Yeah, you’ve clearly moved on.

So, the drama doesn’t end there. Now, Big Brother splitsville couple Ziggy Lichman and Chanelle Hayes are attacking each others credibility in the press, which makes for some FANTASTIC blogging.

Recently Ziggy has had this to say about Chanelle:

“She hates my sister… She calls her a “fat bitch” and says things like, “I hope she dies.” It’s horrific… I have never laid a finger on a woman in my life and I never will. If she says that, I will sue.”

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Let him without sin cast the first stone. Or at least that’s what I always thought about the Bible, but Kate and Pat the past two lezzie’s from The Amazing Race to get eliminiated have spoken out to RealityTVWorld.com about their experience.

The most interesting part comes when they start to discuss religion. Especially when it comes to what God’s concerned with and what God’s not concerned with.

“We’ve seen people on reality shows praying that God’s going to help them do something, and I just think that belittles God in so many ways.”

Funny they mention that considering during last Sunday’s re-crap on my website I did a write up which included one of the many ludicrous clips of Jameka Cameron (from this past season of Big Brother) praying to God. During her stay in the Big Brother house Cameron insisted that God had pre-ordained the winner of Big Brother and that she was just acting out his orders. Apparently God’s plan was to let Evil Dick win.

“That’s not our experience. That’s not our faith tradition, you know, pre-destined… But we watched [Jameka]… And it was kind of painful, because from our standpoint, it gives the view of Christianity that turns some people off… It appears to be superficial…”

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The Amazing Race made for some more AMAZING memories last night. The teams first made way to Amsterdam (where I’m sure they were hoping to get in a quick doobie) where they had to choose between…

Ta-da.

Finding a ’specially’ marked bike out of 5,000,000 bikes or hoisting fake furniture up to a fake loft using a standard lever/pully and efficient knot tying system. A system for some reason only the females could get to work. Go figure.

Rachel/TK and Jennifer/Nathan both fell victim to aforementioned fate. Both men having to switch mid-task so that the women could tie the knots and lift the furniture as opposed to the men. Jennifer commented towards Nathan:

“Gosh… Come on, you’re a guy. You should know how to do these physical things.”

There really wasn’t anything physical about the task if Nathan couldn’t even tie the knot. If Nathan couldn’t tie the knot he couldn’t lift the furniture. Meanwhile The Typical Bimbos (I don’t know their names, nor do I care) completed the task moving past both teams of boys. The Typical Bimbos couldn’t even manage to remain on the ground during the task citing:

“The furniture weighs more than I do!”

Then there was the father/daughter duo Ronald/Christina. Oh boy. Where do I begin?

I think Ronald’s attempt to be ‘cool’ is to be outspoken and honest. However; this tactic just ends up making him sound crass and vulgar. Ronald says to Christina towards the end of the episode, explaining why he’s being for forceful and blunt:

“I’m trying to give you the real truth and other people don’t tell you that you have boogers in your nose!”

He could have said ‘mouth’ but I’m pretty sure it was ‘nose’.

But it could have been ‘mouth’.

Either way- who says that to their daughter?

Then during the final Road Block, where teams had to traverse a muddy ravine as if they were pole vaulting, Christina’s father couldn’t manage to keep his filthy mouth shut for one second, pestering her every chance he got telling her she had to understand the, “principle of it all.” After she finally completed the task she had to get into the carriage of a bicycle where her father would then pedal them to victory.

As Christina got into the carriage Ronald said:

“You need to lose some weight.”

Ronald, I’m no father (and I’m barely a man) but I’m pretty sure it’s never a good idea to tell a woman she’s fat. Let alone your daughter. When they finally got to the mat Christina said:

“You should treat your family like gold, if there’s love there.”

Unfortunately it was the lezzie’s Kate Lewis and Pat Hendrickson who got eliminated from the race.

No, not these two:

These two are what every team openly refers to as “the freaks”. Now, I’m pretty sure they’ve been called this all their lives but something makes me feel uncomfortable when teams say it. It correlates in a way to someone referring to an all gay team as “the gays” or an all black team as “the blacks”. Unless of course you were part of the The Black’s from The Amazing Race: Family Edition.

So yes, Kate/Pat ended up just being too old, too fat, too gay, and just too damn slow to not be the last two to the finish line. I was actually pretty sad to these two go, only because while both lesbian and both priestess’s’s they were able to joke about their faith and actually keep their religion where it should be kept*. They joked earlier in the episode:

“We are religious people but we have no allusions that God cares about whether or not we win The Amazing Race.”

Wow. That’s completely different than what this past season’s Big Brother cast thought. ::Cough:: Jameka ::Uncough::

*In the closet, under your sexuality.

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Sunday nights episode of The Amazing Race debuted with the strongest ratings yet, coming in at an estimated 13.8 million viewers. The teams this year actually seem interesting but it was the couple Nathan and Jennifer who seemed to be the most torn apart. After cheating on his girlfriend he claimed he was on the race to prove she means more than anything to him, yet during the first challenge he yelled at her for not “walking” correctly and then said, “if you were any other girl…” in which she yelled back, “DON’T COMPARE ME TO OTHER GIRLS!” and ran off.

They seemed to be the butt every joke with even their donkey laughing at them.

However; it was the team with Ari Bonas (haha, bon-as), one of the nastiest gays I’ve seen on reality tv (next to Chamo from I Love New York) and his fruit fly Stella Gianakakos (haha, giant-cock-os) who ended up getting eliminated when their donkey wouldn’t move from the starting point.

Thank god, I’m not sure I could have handled looking at him for an entire season.

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Welcome to the freakshow. Thanks to Viva Laughlin and Hugh Jackman’s total miss of a show CBS got to up the premiere date of The Amazing Race which will premiere on Nov. 4th at 8pm.

Two teams in particular stood out to me.

The goth team, whose names are Kynt and Vyxsin. Somehow I get the feeling that these aren’t their real names. And no, this isn’t the lezzie couple. It actually happens to be one guy and one girl despite the fact that it looks like two women.

The second couple, despite the fact that it looks like two men, happens to be The Amazing Race’s first ever lesbian couple who are both ordained ministers. They’ve been together for seven years and got ‘married’ three years ago. However; if anyone should know that two gays can’t get married it should be a pair of ordained, lesbian, ministers from Thousand Oaks.

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