Jason was finally voted out of Survivor: Micronesia last night after the women decided to show the men what they were really made of. During the tribes reward challenge (which was a traditional Survivor auction), Natalie won the power to send someone to Exile Island where they’d have the chance to find the newly hidden- hidden immunity idol.

Natalie chose poor Jason and upon arriving on Exile Island quickly found the hidden idol. He also found delusions of grandeur as he began believing he was actually a part of the originals tribes alliance. Meanwhile back at camp the women, spearheaded by Natalie, derived a plan in which they would be able to blindside Jason without him using his newly discovered immunity idol.

The plan was quite elaborate and it all just made me wonder why they hate Jason so much to begin with? Do they hate him because they’re jealous of him? Do they hate his because they’re afraid they could lose to him? Perhaps the worst of the women was some skank named Natalie whom, if I’m being honest, I haven’t even noticed up until last nights episode. Not to mention her perma-’I have to take a shit face’. Natalie went out of her way to finally show the world who she really is which inevitably turned out to be a lying, deceiving, back-stabbing, whore. Go girl power!

In the end Natalie was able to convince Jason that everyone was voting for James and that he was safe causing Jason NOT to play him hidden immunity idol. Jason paid the price as he joined Ozzy as another pissed and blindsided jury member.

If you need a consolation prize, Jason, I could always give you a cuddle. Just an option though.

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I really couldn’t believe last nights episode of Survivor. It was probably one of the best episodes I’ve seen in awhile. Leading up to the immunity challenge I couldn’t help but think what a complete stud Jason was… He’s dreamy, he’s strong, he’s competitive…

Then during the immunity challenge, where players had their wrists attached to buckets of colored water over their heads where if they dropped their hands they lost and were greeted with a giant tub of water on their head, Jason decided it would be a good idea to drop out. When Jason and Parvati got to the final two Jeff Probst offered one of them (along with the other losers from the challenge) a plate of food if one of the final two players stepped down. Jason said he would only step down if he got a guarantee from every starving person left that they wouldn’t vote him out. Of course they all gave him their guarantees even though they were all lying through their teeth. After he got his phony guarantees from each tribe member he stepped down. Why? WTF!? Your guarantee for not getting voted out doesn’t come in promises, it comes in the shape of an immunity idol necklace. Why couldn’t Parvati step down so you could have immunity? Now THAT would have constituted a guarantee from everyone. I didn’t see the dire emergency for Parvati to have immunity.
It all worked out in the end when Cirie and Parvati turned on Ozzy blindsiding him at tribal council and getting rid of him and his stinkin’ hidden immunity idol. Ozzy was pissed and Eliza’s eyes almost popped further out of her head than they already are.

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Kathy couldn’t handle the stress of being on Survivor any longer and called for immediate evacuation. Jeff Probst arrived in true Probst-fashion (a la a speed boat) to get Kathy and remove her from the game.

Kathy claimed she was doing the show for everyone but herself, including her sister who she claimed was “living vicariously through” her.

An attempt to blindside Ozzy (who has the immunity idol) was thwarted last night when the band of original favorites chose to stick together and vote out Tracy instead.

This is the second week in a row that two people have left the show. Last week Jonathan Penner was medevaced out in addition to Chet being voted out. If the trend continues the show will be over in a couple weeks.

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Last nights Survivor saw two unexpected departures as well as the discovery of the fake hidden immunity idol.

Jonathan Penner had to exit Survivor: Micronesia as an infection threatened to spread into his blood stream after he took a fall during last weeks immunity challenge. After the medic’s stitched him, his wounds never fully healed, the on-set medic said that he needed to get immediate medical attention or risk losing either his leg or his life.

Chet, the “amorphous blob”, of this season- who seems to have done nothing but shine his veneers in people’s faces has managed to make it this far, even out lasting the Incredible Hulk, Joel. He’s been a waste of space since the show debuted and he should, run, RUN, back to his job as a pageant coach. Chet begged the rest of his tribe to vote him out after he claimed he wedged a piece of coral into his foot during the last immunity challenge.

In other news Jason, found the fake penis-shaped immunity idol that Ozzy had carved out of a piece of wood and replaced after he found the real immunity idol. I can’t wake for Jason to use the idol… in a sexual way of course.

Chet left behind $55,000 and Jonathan left behind $80,000. That’s a bunch of money up for grabs this week. Chet’s money is going to Tracy, and Jonathan’s money is going to James.

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Superior Court Judge Michael Solner decided that Johnny Fairplay would need to come up with further proof that Fox Reality Channel is somehow responsible for the spontaneous actions of Neanderthal Danny Bonaduce. The trial stems from the incident last October at the Fox Reality Awards.

Fairplay insists that the Fox Reality Channel was aware of what Bonaduce wanted to do to him before he took the stage. You mean Bonaduce told a Fox Reality exec, “Hey- I’m going to go on stage and Jonny Fairplay’s going to jump on me and then I’m going to throw him over my shoulders and onto the stage where he’s going to bust his teeth.”

Yeah right.

If you knew he was going to do it you shouldn’t have jumped on him. You shouldn’t have jumped on someone as vulnerable as Danny Bonaduce to begin with! You play with fire you get burned! Burned! Maybe you should make out with Evel Dick.

The next court date is set for May 12th.

[E! News: Fairplay Must Fix Bonaduce Suit]

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Joel got a huge smack in the face after he thought he had found salvation in a newly merged tribe of both fans and favs. After his feeble attempt to get everyone to vote out Chet, whom he drug around like a rag doll during the challenge, it was Cirie who spearheaded the campaign to take this chance to get rid of Joel while they had the chance.

Joel had $105,000 to share, so I gave Ozzy and Cirie both $50,000 and gave the left over $5,000 to his best friend Chet.

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Blindsided again.

Mikey was the second fan to be voted out of Survivor: Micronesia.

Next week the tribes will be mixing up.

Mikey had $75,000 and I divided it up evenly ($25,000) amongst Ozzy, Joel and Kathleen.

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