Every so often rocker Tommy Lee pops out of obscurity to make some snide comment just to make sure the rest of America knows he’s still alive. Today is no different. Last October, Tommy Lee bashed Bret Michaels and his Rock of Love show saying he would never participate in such a stupid show. Although he’s completely willing to star in shows like Tommy Lee Goes To College…

At a press conference today for the release of his new album, a reporter asked Tommy about rumors of him appearing on a Rock of Love type show in which Lee responded by saying:

“Are you out of your fucking minds!? Fuck no! I think it’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen!”

Well, this ’stupid show’ broke more Vh1 records. With an astonishing 5 million viewers total tuning into the finale at some point. The season finale of Rock of Love is the fourth highest rated show in Vh1 history.

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In an interview with the Associated Press Bret Michaels finally expressed his true motivations for doing now two seasons of his hit Vh1 reality dating show Rock of Love. Bret Michaels said:

“I think finding true love, I never went in with that intent… I said this from day one: I went into this to have fun and maybe find someone to like. True love is not going to be found instantly on a TV show… Anyone thinking they are going into a TV show finding love, they might find someone that they like and eventually learn to like them more.”

Looks like Bret and Ambre as well as their NASTY make-out sessions may not be the true love they lusted for over the televised two weeks of competitions for Bret’s STD’s. Does this mean I’ll have to sit through a third season?

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Last night was the hour and half comedic conclusion to the ongoing saga that is Rock of Love.

Michaels took the two remaining tramps (Daisy and Ambre) to Cancun, Mexico for each of their final dates. What are they 18? When they arrived in Cancun they were greeted with what Ambre claimed to be a “traditional Mayan dance” which I think roughly translated to “staged dance with actors for American television program”.

At their first dinner, in which was attended by both Daisy and Ambre, the two decided to assassinate each others characters. Ambre was unsure if Daisy had anything else to offer besides sex appeal, Michaels was wondering the same thing. Daisy claimed she “couldn’t help it” if she was sexy and that she didn’t do it on purpose. Come on now Daisy, you paid good money for those fake titties- you do it on purpose. You hide behind you sex appeal because you have nothing else to offer, which is probably the reason you felt you needed to get those new tits to begin with.

It was then time for each of the tramps to get personal dates with Bret Michaels. Michaels decided that Ambre would go out with him first and Daisy would go out with him the following day. Which basically meant he was sparing Ambre any of the diseases he was going to be contracting from Daisy and their sexual encounters.

Michaels took Ambre to a place where they were first going to “rough it” through the rainforest, which meant walk along a paved path, where they were then going to “swim upstream in a river”, which meant get into a boat and have two Mexican’s paddle you up a pool, where they eventually would come to a “cave”, which meant manufactured stone with all inclusive spa.

Going to a spa sounds like just the most IDEAL date. Imagine both of you lying on your respective massage tables in complete silence while being rubbed down by men and women other than the one you’re currently courting. Now that sounds hot!

He then went on a dinner date with Ambre and this is when I seriously began to question what was wrong with those awful highlights. Has the bitch ever heard of hair-relaxer? Her hairstyle reminds me of a woman going through a mid-life crisis and doing her hair the way she THINKS makes her look sexy… oh, wait…

Michaels (I mean Vh1) bought Ambre a necklace which she claimed to adore but was actually pretty close to the same necklace Vh1 bought for Daisy the next night. While at dinner Ambre showed everyone exactly what kind of classless whore she really is by telling, and then showing, Bret Michaels that she wasn’t wearing panties. They then went back to the hotel and most likely had sex all night long.

The next day it was Daisy’s turn. Michaels took Daisy out on a yacht where they were going to go fishing, talk about the worlds most boring date. If I were Daisy I’d have been pissed. Ambre gets a massage and I have to sit on this rocking boat and go fishing? Their yachting expedition then turned into a Daisy puke-fest as Daisy came down with a bad case of motion sickness or maybe she was just puking because she made out with Ambre by proxy. That’s why I’d be puking.

On their private dinner date Daisy showed us, the viewers, more reasons why she probably has more silicone in her body than she does brain matter. The tramp couldn’t even form a sentence. Maybe it was the editing, maybe it wasn’t, but for being twenty-five she could probably get away with taking the bus for 50 cents simply based on her mentality. “No, really bus driver I’m 14. Go ahead, ask me any smart questions.”

In the end Michaels had to make the decision of a lifetime and we got to hear him say, for the hundredth time, “I don’t want rock of love. I don’t want rock of lust, I want rock of love.” He must be really proud of coming up with that line. Apparently he can rock of love with Ambre as he decided to go with the girl he tried to eliminate the first week instead of the girl he banged the first week.

Congratulation to both of you for finally finding love in your resprective age brackets! Now you both can talk about the Mesozoic era and reminisce of better times when dinosaurs roamed the Earth.

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Bret Michaels as well as the production company in charge of his hit reality show Rock of Love are being sued for breach-of-contract by the owner of the mansion used to film the hit show, Ray Sahranavard.

Sahranavard claims that the cast and crew left the house in complete disarray with damages totaling close to $380,000 dollars! Recently the producers of America’s Next Top Model found themselves in the same sort of pickle after the cast and crew of their show trashed a New York City apartment/loft.

The producers of Rock of Love assured Sahranavard that they would take out an extra $3 million dollars in insurance for the house to cover any damage from filming. The production company has now admitted that they never did actually take out the insurance policy leaving Sahranavard to pick up the tab.

Could we really expect anything less from Bret Michaels? I also find it to be quite hilarious that they have to rent this loser a ‘mansion’ because he doesn’t have one of his own to film it in.

[Source]

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For just $2,5000 dollars you could go on a date (and probably contract some sort of disease) with Frenchie from Rock of Love 2. I can think of about three other things I could do with that extra $2,500 bucks I have sitting around. In addition to the $2,500 dollars it will cost you to ‘buy’ Angelique you will need to pay for her airfare, her ground transportation, and her hotel accomodations which she specifies must be at a, “4 star hotel or better”.

Her talent agency who was responsible for posting the auction (we’ll refer to them as her pimps) only have a rating of 94.7%, with two negative feedbacks.

She currently has zero bids. Cheers to whatever loser actually wants to take her out.

[Ebay: TV Star Celebrity Date]

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Last night Bret Michaels eliminated Destiny from the competition despite the fact that she got the logo for the show tattooed on the back of her neck a la Heather from the first season.

It’s now down to Daisy and Ambre. Daisy being the titty and Ambre being the biddy. How can he go through all those women and come down to two that are so drastically different from each other? Oh, Bret Michaels you’re such an enigma!

We did, finally, get to see Bret Michaels without his man-dana last night despite his best efforts to still hide his hairline from the world. I wasn’t sure if I was looking at Bret Michaels or a middle aged woman… or both.
My bet is on Daisy to take home the prize of being left in the dirt for a third series. Plus, what the hell is Ambre doing on Rock of Love anyways? Shouldn’t she be changing her colostomy bag?

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Kristy Joe walked out on Bret Michaels Sunday night after she lied about having not ended her relationship with her current husband. In a phone conversation aired on the show she told him she wanted to divorce him, and it all sounded like new news to the guy she was talking to on the phone. Imagine getting dissed on national television for a disease-ridden has-been rocker like Bret Michaels.

Walking out seems to be nothing new for Kristy Hoe at twenty-six she’s been in two marriages (both ending in divorce) and then an emotional roller coaster on a national television show. Not to mention her multiple appearances in Playboy magazine, complete with money shots.

Kristy Hoe is so desperate for money she’s even auctioning off various goods on E-bay including the blue top she wore during the cast members press photos. She’s asking for an opening bid of $79.00, I’m sorry but I don’t know where those titties have been. Correction: I DO know where those titties have been and I’m definitely not interested. What woman is like- oh, I HAVE to have that top. If you don’t want to bid you can ‘Buy It Now’, how much is Kristy Hoe asking for it? $155.00! Oh, that’s hilarious. The auction ended on March 1st with a whole zero bids.

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What’s worse than one Rock of Love, Aubry?

Try two Rock of Love, Aubry’s!

Aubry posted a MySpace blog saying:

“I AM GOING TO CONDUCT A CONTEST FOR MY FRIENDS AND FANS. THIS IS A LOOK ALIKE CONTEST. IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO LOOK LIKE ME. SEND ME A PIC OF YOURSELF TRYING TO LOOK LIKE ME AND I WILL PUT IT UP FOR PUBLIC VOTING. I WILL SEND THE WINNER AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE DIRECTLY FROM ME SIGNED TO YOU. PLEASE SEND YOUR PHOTO AND INFO TO WWW.ROL2AUBRY@YAHOO.COM”

Feel free to send in your photo’s but I think I’ve already found the winner…

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Every boxer needs a slutty niece. It’s just the way it works. Rock of Love’s Daisy is no exception. Daisy De La Hoya may be doing her family and her fellow famous boxer uncle, Oscar De La Hoya, proud.

‘Controversy’ if you could call it that, has recently arisen after TMZ.com discovered (and by discovered I mean went to her MySpace page) the above racy photograph of Daisy De La Hoya drinking a bottle of Jack’s with a mirror full of cocaine in front of her. While Daisy insists that above ‘cocaine’ is actually flour- she still can’t explain the slutty spread eagle position or is that just flour too?

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Bret Michaels chose not to eliminate anyone on last weeks show so this week he had to eliminate two hags!

Since finding love is all about winning challenges- especially rodeo themed obstacle courses- it was especially important that certain women win this challenge as it could have been their last chance at ‘winning’ a date with the man of their dreams.

Catherine thought she had the mission in the bag after she claimed to be a “horse-lover”. Really? I couldn’t tell…

You know how they say the longer you live with your dog the more you start to look like it… I think the same holds true in her case, just with horses instead of dogs.

She lost the challenge (giddy-up!), and after a surprise breakfast in bed for Bret and a hot dragon-breath make-out session, she was sent home. Also, I was pretty surprised that even after just waking up Bret Michaels’ was still wearing that hairline covering bandanna. I think it’s permanently stitched to his forehead!

Bret assured us after the challenge that ‘no greased pigs were injured during the taping,’ but I swear I saw Inna dive into that sty and get hurt! I mean, it couldn’t have felt good.

Oh, along with Catherine, Peyton (picture at the top of this entry) was also eliminated. Did I say Peyton? My bad… I meant Melissa Etheridge.

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