Dearest BuzzKilled Readers,

Due to a series of unfortunate events I have not been able to update my website for quite sometime. It was a mixture of losing my internet access, having my computer break and also having my TiVo go out on me ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I’ve now got a ‘new-to-me’ interim laptop that I can use for the time being to bring you all the saucy reality news updates you could wish for. Now, if any of you dear readers have a spare laptop you’d like to donate to the best cause you can think of, feel free to e-mail me at: danny@buzzkilled.com. Otherwise, I AM accepting donations which will be put towards purchasing me a new laptop- if you’re interested in donating you can do one of two things:

1. Scroll down and look on the right under the header ‘Feed Me’ and you’ll see a convenient ‘Donate’ tab in which you can generously donate anything from a quarter to a quarter of a million dollars through the wonderful PayPal service. I’d prefer the latter but I’ll take anything at this point.
2. Or you can simply visit my website on a daily basis (which I hope you do already) and click the Google Ads which I use to support the upkeep of this website.

With all of that out of the way lets resume our regular broadcasting schedule and start giving you what you want! Thanks for everyone’s understanding and I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I also very much appreciated all the e-mails of concern I received regarding my untimely absence from the wonderful world of the interwebs. Thank you all.
Sincerely,

BuzzKilled.com

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[Note: This article is my opinion. You are free to disagree. It also will not spoil your Big Brother viewing pleasure as most of what you are about to read will never air on television.]

Chelsia has LOST it.

And so has CBS.

I’ve been holding back writing this out of hope that things would turn out differently, but since you’ve started reading you can assume that they have not. CBS has been clearly avoiding key story lines in their recent Big Brother series and have neglected to give these stories the appropriate airtime. None at all, to be more specific. Instead they’ve been handing over trite but neatly constructed one-hour episodes for your pea-brained viewing pleasure. Remember now, a program airing at 8pm may still lie within the hours in which children may (or may not) be watching television, and in particular watching CBS. For all of you confused mothers out there, yes, your child IS sneaking off to watch Big Brother without your permission, you might want to go save them now.

Here’s what CBS is not letting you see.

Last week Natalie was in the center of a drama involving the scent, yes the scent, of Chelsia’s vagina. It eventually culminated into a great fiasco involving extremely harsh language and lots and lots of pickles.

Natalie had begun to tell various house guests that Allison had told her (previous to her eviction) that after she fingered Chelsia she had to wash her hands because the odor was so foul. Whether this actually happened is anyone’s guess and until either fesses up we’ll probably never know. Upon recieving news that Natalie was telling people this, Chelsia, like any rational human being, accosted Natalie on the couch, pulled down her underwear and asked her to smell her crotch.

Natalie retaliated with a bunch of “Jesus will save me’s” and “I’m with the right people” remarks. Completely out of touch with reality about what is going on around her. Even insisting that her and Matt ‘pretended’ to hate each other to fool people. Right, Natalie. Right.

During the debacle James and Joshuah dissappeared for a moment, most likely strategizing their next move, only to reappear with a jar of pickles and a glass of water. Hm. I wonder what’s going to happen next?

All of a sudden James turns around and launches (and I mean LAUNCHES) a completely full jar of pickles at Natalie. Followed up by a nice ice cold glass of water from Joshuah. I’ll never forget the sound of ten pickles hitting the floor. Wait, let me take that back. I’ll never forget the sound of ten pickles hitting Natalie and THEN the floor.

Despite her stinky crotch, Chelsia remained adamant, saying, “At least I don’t have dead babies coming out of mine.”

Referring to the two abortions Natalie has had.

Did any of this ever air on CBS? No. It did not. This is what we tune in to see yet you’re choosing not to air it and then you wonder why your ratings are down. I understand that the subject matter might be kind of risque but when has Big Brother worried about its reputation? You’ve let countless acts of racism occur, multiple instances of physical violence, and even managed to air two people having actual intercourse on national television. Just the other night I watched a South Park about Magic Johnson liquefying money and shooting it into his blood stream to cure AIDS- yet, for some reason, even beginning to reference someone’s vagina odor is just more than one channel can bear. Sure, one is cable and the other is primetime, but I can assure you I’ve seen far more brutal episodes of Law & Order: SVU. In fact, the same night CBS neglected to air anything in reference to the fight (or Natalie’s abortions) I watched an episode of Law & Order: SVU in which a man had beaten a women and ripped her dead baby out of her body, leaving her for dead. Classy and completely approved for television. Is it because one is “real-life” and the other is “make-believe” land? If that is really the excuse it’s a pretty sad and pathetic one.

Chelsia’s stinky vag? Nooo…

Amber admitting on television she’d faked two abortions while high on meth? Yesss…

A jar of pickle juice and a glass of water? Nooo…

A glass of iced tea and a cigarette burn? Yesss…

More recently the two (Natalie and Chelsia) were at it again, with the words becoming ever more brutal. Making me wonder, will CBS opt this footage out too? In a completely foul-mouthed dispute Chelsia rips Natalie apart more than ever. Mocking her abortions, challenging her religion, and completely smashing her character.

It began casually as Chelsia asked Natalie if she would pray with her. Natalie, looking like a wet dog as usual, hesitantly agreed. Then Chelsia asked Natalie, “What’s the sixth commandment?”

“I don’t know them in order,” replied Natalie as if she knows them in ANY order.

Chelsia then whispers quietly, “Oh you’re not a Christian. That’s right…” then begins screaming, “because you kill babies!”

Natalie instantly begins speaking in tongue, as she does whenever someone challenges anything about her, claiming that Jesus will “lift her up” and stating that she’s been “saved a long time ago”.

“At least I don’t kill babies, bitch!” Chelsia screams at Natalie who has now left the room in order to seek refuge in a locked Head of Household room. As a final depart Chelisa yells on the top of her lungs, “Dumb fucking white trash trailer park cunt!”

“Women have fought for those rights for years, dumb cunt, it’s not a form of birth control.”

Referring, again, to Natalie’s abortions.

“Have I ever sold my body? Nope. Have I ever murdered? Nope. But Natalie, she’s a Christian.”

Joshuah, who of course could not manage to stay away from the drama, decided it would be funny to stage a mock abortion scene, complete with ketchup, on her bed. Big Brother quickly thwarted those plans, mock-abortion scenes never go over well with studio execs. Then they thought it would be a better idea for Joshuah to go upstairs to get Natalie where he would convince Natalie to sit down with Chelsia so they could all “talk it out like real women.” That, obviously, included Josh- we’ve all seen him manhood and know it borderlines on womanhood.

Once Natalie sat down, Chelsia was going to pull out the ketchup and shoot it into her crotch and then freak out like Natalie was having an abortion. I’ve got to admit I did L-O-L when they suggested that, I couldn’t resist.

If I were a betting man, I’d say we won’t end up seeing any of this on television either. Filed away with all the other things CBS doesn’t wanting us to know about the people living on their Studio City lot. Why have a show that showcases different people’s personalities and monitors them continually twenty-four seven if you’re not going to show us any of it? In the United Kingdom Big Brother episodes are aired nightly and are hour long programs, showing the previous days events, chronologically- and we get this shit!? Just the change of country greatly impacts a show like Big Brother. After having the pleasures of seeing how it’s done in other countries (the REAL way) I’m almost ashamed to call our show Big Brother, and this year is further proving my point. I love Big Brother, and I’ll love it from anywhere- anyway I can get it- but intentionally depriving viewers of situations that greatly affect not only our opinions but the outcome of the game is just disgustingly unfortunate. I’ve seen things on the British Big Brother you could never even think of having the chance to see on American airwaves.

In the United Kingdom it alright to air full-frontal nudity and foul language so long as it’s not being aired on live television. It’s the same loophole that never ceases to make me laugh when watching their live eviction shows. Davina (the host) when speaking to the house live (as Julie Chen does) warns the house guests every week to not swear because their on live television. However; in the very same broadcast that’s airing in real-time along side the live eviction show (as ours does with recaps of what happened leading up to eviction) will be pre-recorded segments complete with unbleeped language and complete nudity. I find it funny she can tell them not to swear one minute and but two minutes later see one man lick Nutella out of another mans ass crack. Oh, Big Brother.

Is this just a matter of cultural differences? Is America just too naive to handle the truth being told on national television? Or maybe they just have their heads screwed on right over seas. After all since we lack any sort of government intervention when it comes to monitoring the media so we are left with a bunch of asinine watch-dog groups logging every indecent act aired on television and sending over nightly reports to the FCC. I’ll never understand the paradox that comes along with someone deciding what will or will not corrupt my mind. If they’re watching this before me, what does that make them? If they were a saint by the time they got done sifting through hundreds of hours of television footage and writing down anything obscene they saw they’d surely be a sinner. Why don’t you let me judge what I do and don’t want to watch with this amazing new technology called the ‘remote control’ maybe you’ve heard of it? It does really cool things like change the channel and turn off the television.

I know the editors have an extreme amount of pressure to create nice, air-able episode of Big Brother. I don’t criticize them or the producers, unfortunately this is a matter that goes far deeper and begins delving into the realms of censorship. Somewhere I don’t think I can go with a blog dedicated to trashing people on reality shows. I just want you to think about who’s deciding for me, and for you, and for everyone else what we can and cannot watch? I’m a grown adult. No matter how hard you think you may be ’saving the children’ by censoring television it still just doesn’t seem like the most logical solution. An editor is not a babysitter. You can’t blame bad parenting on a television program. But until people in power see this, we all have to suffer. Janet Jackson slips a nip and the whole country goes up in flames. Any kid watching Janet’s nipple come out during a Superbowl half-time show should be mighty familiar with a nipple by then, after all, they most likely had been sucking on their mothers for a good portion of their youth. I stopped when I was 12. If they had not, perhaps they were bottle fed, they still (if lucky) have two of their own (and sometimes maybe even three).

Perhaps I’m just more peeved that they (television stations) won’t just make a decision and stick with it. I don’t understand how certain things are more sacred than others. Why Erika can bash Koreans on national television but Adam can’t say retard. How Evel Dick can pour iced tea on Jen’s head but James and Joshuah cannot. How real-life intercourse shown under the covers is air-able, but the mere mention of a hand job or blow job is more than the viewers can bear. CBS is making these decisions for all of us, sure we have the live feeds to treat us otherwise, but why should the people who don’t have time to watch them all day have to suffer by not seeing it on television. What if the live feeds did not exsist? We would never know any of this was happening. Episodes should be complete recaps of their events, not picked and prodded to leave us with nothing but a dead carcass of a show. These are the things that make Big Brother, Big Brother and not just any other reality show about a bunch of dim-witts vying for attention.

And, to be honest, this isn’t really about Big Brother in particular. It’s about any show for that matter. It’s about media censorship by in large. It’s about people telling others what they can or cannot say just because they simply disagree with it. The very foundations of our country are based on debates and opinions- it’s based on people being individuals and the ability to be themselves despite how warped and thwarted they may be. The same law that lets Evel Dick be an evil dick is the same law that lets me write internet blogs bashing his every move, it’s the same law that lets you have your own opinion and the same law that lets the KKK march down Main Street. You might not like what it is everyone has to say, but one of the joys of being a human being is having the free-will and choice to not read, see, or listen to things you don’t like. So don’t think this is just about what I think should or shouldn’t be on Big Brother. It’s about more than that. I just stick to what I know and I KNOW Big Brother.

Buzzkilled.com

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