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I thought April Fool’s Day was last week, but apparently I’ve come across news that I find so disturbring that it HAS to be fake.

News reports state that Teri Hatcher will be one of the performers to sing at this upcoming week’s charity event by American Idol producers called Idol Gives Back.

Maybe Hatcher will be thinking about that incredibly awkward kiss between her and American Idol host and in-the-closest-extraordinaire Ryan Semencrest.

After hearing this news I plead with the entire country to NOT watch Idol Gives Back unless they want to be scarred beyond recognition.

[Sify.com: Hatcher to sing on American Idol]

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On Wednesday we reported that Tyra Banks and her plastic Pokemon Trainer, Jay Manuel were feuding and that she was going to be leaving her show America’s Next Top Model to focus on promoting Vaseline and ignorance via her daytime talk show. Her rep is now, two days later, defending Tyra- of course.

Tyra’s rep told UsMagazine.com, they will now be handling all pertinent press releases for the public, that:

“The rumors about Tyra leaving and the fight with Jay are NOT TRUE!”

Wait… I’m confused. Are they NOT TRUE? Or just not true? Either way I thank her rep for the detailed and eloquent ’statement’ regarding this issue. I don’t know why we believed any of it anyways, it’s not like Tyra is ever on the set of ANTM unless she has to be- so a feud is next to impossible.

[AHN: Tyra Banks Not Quitting America’s Next Top Model]

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I love how the only things LC ever bothers to tell the press are things she’s NOT doing.

She clarified that she was NOT dating Brody Jenner. Who, in turn, clarified that he was NOT dating LC.

Then she clarified that she was NOT fired from Teen Vogue.

Now, she’s insisting that she’s is NOT pregnant.

Well, we can assume that the father is NOT Brody Jenner.

[Celebrity Mound: Denied: Lauren Conrad Not Pregnant]

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Vh1, due to their recent series of successful reality shows, has decided to pick up four new series and a handful of documentaries. The news shows coming to Vh1 are:

• The Cho Show: Which will, obviously, follow Margret Cho around as she tries to break into television and manages her ‘busy’ stand up schedule. This could be interesting…  [7 Episodes]
• Brooke Hogan Knows Best: Sigh. Yes, it’s just what you think it is. [10 Episodes]
• New York Goes To Hollywood: We saw this coming a couple weeks ago. New York is going to Hollywood to try to be an actress. How this is different than the past two seasons of her show I have yet to come to understand.
• Luke’s Parental Advisory: Luke Campbell? Look it up.

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Surprise!

CBS managed to not mention that Joshuah threatened to slit Allison’s throat and/or the fact that Joshuah must stay at least five feet away from Allison. So, either the incident of the throat slitting never happened and it’s another one of Allison’s wonderful fabrications or CBS just wants to not confront the issue. Did you notice how their lesbian act first went on for a week, then it was 11 days and by the end of the episode it was two weeks. Or the fact that Allison claimed to be “raped” in the Big Brother house. Can we really believe anything that comes out of her mouth?
In other news, that has yet to hit the air…

Shelia woke up Sunday morning, bitching and moaning about Allison again. About how she’s trying to make out with Chelsia to get her vote. Chelsia confronted Sheila in the kitchen and then went into the backyard where she told everyone about what was going on. Which led to yet another showdown between the two has-been lesbians.

Later that evening after the house guests had been given alcohol, they began to battle over the booze. After Natalie suggested that she should get more alcohol Chelsia jokingly said that everyone should just give Natalie all of their booze. This upset Natalie which sent her into the bedroom to cry.

Meanwhile, outside Matt and James began arguing about the Natalie and her booze incident. Matt decided to go off on James about how if he made Natalie cry he would kick his ass… Oh, Matt, you’re so strong.

Lastly, there’s been even more Big Bigotry out of the house today as the four guys: Ryan, James, Matt and Adam were all making a pizza. While the camera man was zoomed in on the pizza you could hear someone, my guess Ryan based on the voice but I could be wrong, call one of the other guys a “nigger”. When Matt asked what they had just said the live feeds cut to flames.

May I just remind everyone of the fate that Emily Parr met last summer in the Big Brother 8: United Kingdom house, when she used that same exact word in a conversation with fellow house guest Charley Uchea.

Big Brother woke her up later that morning and removed her from the Big Brother house on grounds of “causing major offense to the viewing public”.

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I was watching American Idol last night and began wondering what Ramiele Malubay was doing onstage singing “Superstar”. She was using the stage name of Danny Noriega, I wonder what made her shift her position on life. I posted the video of her performance below so any readers I have could help me figure it out!

Didn’t she realize it was boys night!?

Simon commended her stage presence, but all in all she just seemed out of place.

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We all know by now that Lowe’s pulled any future advertisements from Big Brother broadcasts over Adam’s use of the word ‘retards’ in reference to mentally challenged individuals but today he started his attack on the gays.

Earlier today Adam was in the backyard talking to Matt when he referred to Joshuah as a “faggot” and said that Joshuah should “go back to the gay bar.”

I doubt this will ever make the airwaves.

I doubt any advertisers will care.

I hope he doesn’t come across any “faggy retards” or else we’ll all be in trouble.

Run James! Run!

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Duane Chapman confirmed on Thursday that him and his family would be returning to A&E for another 30 episode run of his show Dog the Bounty Hunter.

The show was pulled off the air last November after Duane Chapman’s son sold tapes of a phone conversation between the two in which Chapman refers to his sons girlfriend as a “nigger”.

Duane’s son (the other son) said:

“The rumors are true… He is very excited. Thank goodness for A&E. Thank goodness for a second chance. And thank goodness for the fans who have written to A&E over the last few months.”

I wonder if Lowe’s advertises on Dog the Bounty Hunter?

In other news TMZ.com reports that Duane Chapman’s son, the one the sold him out, has now been jailed for violation of his parole.

According to TMZ.com two weeks after the tapes surfaced Chapman learned that his son was abusing drugs (while on parole) and threatened to expose him. The tapes vanished…

Then the parole officer did a surprise inspection of his house and find things that didn’t belong there. Now he sits in jail. Weird how it all works out.

Duane had this to say about that incident:

“I am heartbroken that this has occurred, but I am relieved that my son in now in a place where he can no longer hurt himself. To my bruddahs in the system: please don’t hurt my son as he knows not what he does. I love my son and wish him the best.”

Who are you, Hulk Hogan?

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In a telephone interview with recently voted out American Idol contestant Garrett Haley he revealed that American Idol producers didn’t allow him to choose the song he sung two nights before his eventual elimination.

During the conference call the interviewer asked Garrett why he choose the song “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do,” he responded by telling them:

“We’re allowed to choose three songs from a list, and every contestant is like for sure to get one of the songs, and I didn’t get to get any of my songs because they gave the songs out to all the contestants before that. So, I was just ending up with having to choose from the list again. And I don’t know, I didn’t really get to choose, they just threw the song at me and said here sing this one, and I was like ok.”

While I don’t think the song choice was the reason Garrett was eliminated in this instance, it’s just further proof that things aren’t always as they seem. Had Garrett been able to sing a song he felt more comfortable with, he may still be on American Idol today.

You should have throw the song back at them.

[Source, Photosource]

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