The American Federation of Musicians filed a lawsuit against American Idol and its producers claiming that they neglected to pay them fees for rebroadcasts of their performances - even going so far as to rerecord the music with different musicians for recap shows on other channels.

Now correct me if I’m wrong but I always thought American Idol was a legitimate television production…

::Glances around for approval::

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Clay Aiken couldn’t keep his sperm in his own trash can and has recently given some of it to his 50 year old best friend forever…

::Confused face::

No, really.

Clay Aiken, perhaps the gayest man on the planet has decided to artificially inseminate Jaymes Foster (yes, a woman) and she is expecting to have his baby sometime in late August.

Now if there was ever a way to prove to the world how straight you really are it would definitely be by using methods like artificial insemination to get a woman pregnant. C’mon Clay, real men do it doggy style.

Aiken is reported to hopefully be playing an active role in raising his new mommy’s baby.

[Source,Source]

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Paula Abdul was either drunk, stoned, or heavily medicated on last nights American Idol. Pushed for time and with each contestant performing two songs American Idol producers didn’t have time to let the judges critique each of their first performances and instead opted to have them be judged as a group at the end of the first round.

Ryan, eager to get on with the show, had the judges quickly give their two-cents on the each contestants first song choices. When they got around to Paula she told Jason Castro that she liked his “lower-register” *cough* don’t get we all *cough* and that she felt his “second song” was lacking his “usual charm” and she didn’t feel as though he was trying hard enough with his two song performances…

But wait… they’ve only sung one song each you crack totin’, animated cat dancing, doodoo bird! That’s when Ryan glanced around confused and Simon had to interrupt to get the show on the road informing Paula that they’ve all only performed once so far. Uhh… have you not been paying attention all night? We’re you asleep at the table? Or were you just high on lots and lots of drugs?

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In a shocking turn of events Brooke White remained on American Idol last night and Carly Smithson was sent home. On Tuesday night Brooke sang ‘You Must Love Me’ one of the newly written songs by Andrew Lloyd Webber for the movie version of Evita. Not only did she mess up when she started and had to re-start the song, she couldn’t manage to hit a single note properly the entire duration of the song.

I thought for sure the bitch was out this week, especially after Andrew Lloyd Webber slammed her in her opening segment citing White “had no clue what she was singing about”, which for a woman who’s never seen a rated-R movie isn’t all that surprising.

Brooke, go out… see the world… it’s an amazing place.

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Good ‘ole KLC finally got the boot last night on American Idol last night. The bottom three were Kristy Lee Cook, Syesha Mercado and Brooke White. Syesha, who I for some reason can’t stand, was quickly sent to safety leaving just Brooke and Kristy to fight it out. I knew Kristy was the obvious choice but I secretly hoped it’d be Brooke White. Not for any particular reason other than she’s going to have to leave sometime to make way for the David’s.

Mimi performed a song about dead people for the audience and I’m glad Simon knew his place enough to stand in her presence. She had a pretty blinged out microphone and stand too. It was covered from top to bottom with shiny white gems including an ever so decadent ‘MC’ etched into the side.

[Photosource]

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David Cook by far had the best performance of the show last night. Initially after they announced the singers would be doing covers of Mariah Carey songs (something I’ve waited 7 years for) I instantly feared for David Cook and Jason Castro. Then when I first heard Cook decided to pick ‘Always Be My Baby’ I was filled with anticipation. The mere fact that he chose such a popular pop song to turn into a rock-ballad was a totally ballsy move, and for that he gets some major props. Now, add to all of this to the fact that it was just an outstanding performance all together - Cook HAS to be the best performance of the night. Cook began to tear up after his performance and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly choked up as well.

The worst was a little harder to decide. Initially I was thinking Kirsty Lee Cook but I feel like that’s too easy. At least she tried to make the song she sang into a country tune even though she failed at it miserably. I also greatly considered Carly Smithson for her AWFUL version of ‘Without You’, but I think I’m going to go with Brooke White and her choice of the song ‘Hero’. This is probably one of my least favorite Mariah Carey songs just because it was so overplayed and a little too happy for my taste and Brooke White wasn’t able to even come close to the abilities of Mariah Carey… she should keep a look out behind her tonight when the elimination ghost comes to town.

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American Idol 7 contestant Jason Castro is pictured above smoking what some ‘experts’ claim to be marijuana. Most sites are defending Castro saying that the image could be ‘photo-shopped’. Right, photo-shopped.

Who cares if he smokes pot anyways? The dudes got dreads… it’s pretty much a no-brainer that he smokes pot. Find me one person with dreads that doesn’t and THEN I’d probably have some sort of ground-breaking story to report here.
Some online defenders have even gone so far as to say someone is trying to ’sabotage’ Jason Castro. I’m sure if someone wanted to ’sabotage’ his victory, they could have done better than that. It wouldn’t have been hard for this same Photoshop expert to maybe crop a nude picture of him having sex with a donkey…

The National Ledger also defends Castro saying the smoke could be from ‘cigarettes’. It’s obvious The National Ledger has never smoked the dope before, despite the fact that they probably should. Everyone knows that pot smoke is thicker and heavier than the normal light and less consistent cigarette smoke.

Either way, I don’t care if he’s smoking pot, cigarettes, crack or monkey feces, I’m just stoked to get another shirtless picture.

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Some people are calling last nights elimination of Michael Johns on American Idol ’shocking’, I find it to be anything but.

Why do I have this sneaking suspicion that no matter who was eliminated last night on American Idol it would have been referred to as ’shocking’. I mean somebody’s got to go every week, that’s the nature of the show- get over it. If you’re so upset Michael Johns left maybe you should have voted for him a little more. Personally, I know I can’t complain because I don’t bother to actually pick up my phone to vote. Mostly because I don’t really care who wins. I just watch it for those wonderfully awkward moments when somebody fails on stage- the same reason I love watching Olympic ice skating. I just watch in hopes of seeing them bite it on the ice. There’s some gratifying about watching someone’s dreams come crashing down on national television.

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I watched Idol Gives Back last night (again, by watched I mean fast forwarded through) and couldn’t help but feel guilted into donating at least $1. Bono has to be one of the best guilt-trippers I’ve ever come across. I keep remembering one clip (posted above) of him in Africa, talking to a little girl dying of AIDS. He was talking to her in English (and looking into the camera) despite the fact she didn’t speak a word of it and had no idea who he was saying or doing. The only reason he was doing so was to play on the heart strings of millions American’s and to his credit he did a fantastic job.

Yesterday America’s Next Top Model was fined for decency and that VERY SAME day they let Maria Schriver show her face on television? How is FOX getting away with their blatant disregard for decency? As Maria took the stage she was followed by a plethora of people in wheelchairs being pushed by volunteers, only to say once she took the stage, “We stand here together.” Umm… Maria. Not sure if you took the time to look behind you but I’m pretty sure a majority of the people back there are sitting in their wheelchairs, unable to ’stand together’ with you. Did no one proof read her speech before she made it?

All-in-all the show was basically like watching The Grammy’s without awards. By that I mean, boring, dull and entertaining-less. Instead it was shoddy performance after the next (with the exception of Annie Lennox) followed by another montage of guilt.

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American Idol 7 contestant David Cook, who has been under certain firestorms recently for covering songs without giving credit, has been struggling with extremely personal family issues week to week during his American Idol career.

David Cook, who proudly displays the initials ‘AC’ on his guitar when he plays, recently opened up about his brother Adam Cook who is currently battling cancer.

Last year’s winner Jordin Sparks suffered three deaths during her American Idol stint, including: her best friend, her uncle and her grand father. Jordin Sparks told People.com:

“It’s hard because you have to go out there and put this smile on your face. It’s very exhausting, and it’s very overwhelming and kind of gets to you. I mean I got sick a couple times, just because I was so tired and kept trying to do all this stuff and it was crazy.”

[AHN: “American Idol” Contestant Knows The Show Must Go On Despite Family Hardships]

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